Life, or Something Like It

NOT....CUTE.....AT......ALL

2008-12-01T16:25:00.000-08:00

Alright, don't start lecturing that what I am about to tell you is my own damn fault, for essentially living in the country. I love it here in the country! I love not hearing ridiculous amounts of traffic and gunshots and ambulances. God knows, I have spent my fair share of time in the city, and while there, I certainly enjoyed all the hubbub. HOWEVER, I am now nine thousand months pregnant and routinely try to take naps approximately sixteen times per day, and truly value a good night's sleep. Therefore, the country is marvelous.
HOWEVER, I'm about to tell you about a nuisance so AWFUL, so HORRENDOUS, so absolutely VILE that I never once ran into in all my years of city living - MOTHER FUCKING RACOONS.
Racoons are not cute. Here is an OBVIOUSLY photoshopped picture of racoons, as I can assure you with 100% certainy that this is not what these fuckers look like in real life:

Look how adorable they are, with their little masked faces. What a SHAM!
Raccoons in my neighborhood think the most wonderful hobby EVER is to sneak onto our back and front porch nightly, looking for food, but more importantly, to torment our dogs. They stand on their creepy little legs, leaned up against the sliding glass doors, pressing their furry fucking faces against the glass, and TAUNT the dogs. At 3 A.M. And the dogs, who are not fans of taunting, I might add, think it's a wonderful idea to start BARKING like the hounds of hell, all while running in circles and jumping up and down on the furniture.
Most of the time, I lay in bed and pretend to be asleep, because then Jason gets fed up with all of it and heads out to the living room, all the while trapsing across the freezing cold tile floor, ready to beat the snot out of those raccoons. But here's the thing - the raccoons could give two shits about humans showing up - we are so obviously the lower life form in that equation. Those raccoons won't get scared off - it's CRAZY. They just stand there TAUNTING US AS WELL, angering us to the very core, until Jason is completely fed up and begins lobbing water balloons out the door at the offenders, which is a pretty good idea until our little Roxy dog ESCAPES between Jason's legs and goes after the raccoons, which is fucking petrifying, because those creepy fuckers will RIP A DOG'S FACE RIGHT OFF.
And unlike most civilized areas of society who allow you to trap and/or hunt raccoons year round because they are DISEASED and SICK and GROSS, Skagit County has laws forbidding all of the above. We're just supposed to bend over and take it from these little fuckwads.
Anyhow, I have included a photo of the raccoons MOLESTING AND HARRASSING our pets and my sanity. Jerks.

And one more:

Bi-Partisan Bullshiz

2008-11-19T13:10:00.000-08:00

Okay - it's been two weeks and a day since the election, and realistically, two weeks since I was the happiest person who ever lived, as Senator Barack Obama became President Elect Obama.
It is my personal (and correct!) opinion that enough with the campaign bullshit, enough with the right wing attack.....we're all part of these United States, and that means respecting our democratic process, and the fact that Americans voted for Barack Obama more then they voted for John McCain. Relatively simple concept, right? And considering for the last two elections I had to sit by and watch as one election was a little more then shady and the other had a democratic candidate even I wasn't crazy about, therefore I ended up on the losing end of the stick, I think that everyone still WHINING about the election needs to shut it and focus on how to fix our country, which, last time I checked, is spiralling out of control. And I'll tell you one way we can all work to fix our country, and that is by working together on progressive plans of action. Am I right, or am I right? Of course I am right.
That being said, I think it's pretty fucking sick when I get emails like the ones I got today. The person who sent me them is a total asshole, so not like I'm suprised, but still. Let me tell you about these emails, and you decide for yourself what kind of douche sends this shit out.
EMAIL ONE: Title of the email is "How Obama Got Elected" - nothing in the body except a link to a website which I will not even name. This website is maintained by John Ziegler - a producer who is working on a documentary based on the role the media played in this election, and how biased it was towards Obama. Funny, considering that during the Bush/Kerry election people based votes on knowledge gained from the Swift Boat attack ads, but John Ziegler is not making a documentary based on that. Anyhow, this idiot surveyed 12 - yes, you read that right, TWELVE registered voters who identified themselves as Obama supporters, and has based his documentary on their responses. 12 mother fucking people. Here's an example of his "scientific study":

57.4% could NOT correctly say which party controls congress (50/50 shot just by guessing)
I'm pretty sure that 50% of average American citizens couldn't say which party controls congress - wait, why don't I go survey two people on the street randomly and see what they say! Next question.....

71.8% could NOT correctly say Joe Biden quit a previous campaign because of plagiarism (25% chance by guessing)
During the 1988 Democratic election process, Joe Biden was accused of plagerizing a speech given by Neil Kinnock, British Labor Party Leader. Is this okay? No, probably not. But it was 20 years ago, and I would say on a scale of taking bribes and comfortably fitting into the pocket of, oh, I don't know, someone engrained in the Savings and Loan scandal (around the same time) and facing scrutiny by your peers it probably falls around the same mark.

82.6% could NOT correctly say that Barack Obama won his first election by getting opponents kicked off the ballot (25% chance by guessing)
In 1996, the Obama campaign investigated instances of questionable legal tactics by his opponents. In doing so, they (the Obama campaign) were able to have his opponents removed from the ballot because THEY BROKE THE RULES. Last I checked, this was not illegal, and again, considering that John McCain's campaign tried to disavow the work of Acorn and tie that directly to Obama insinuating that he knew of fraud among registered voters, I would ask what McCain's angle was.

88.4% could NOT correctly say that Obama said his policies would likely bankrupt the coal industry and make energy rates skyrocket (25% chance by guessing)
This is speculative at best. And I think the reason that many people voted for Obama is because we are looking for alternative energy resources, because the energy resources we are concentrating our efforts on are not exactly working for us. If you want to read more about his energy policies, please click here!

56.1% could NOT correctly say Obama started his political career at the home of two former members of the Weather Underground (25% chance by guessing).
Barack Obama was at the house of William Ayres in 1995, introduced by retiring state senator Alice Palmer. Palmer identified Obama as her successor. She briefly introduced the two men. In 1995. William Ayres and his wife, Bernardine Dohrn were part of the Weather Underground - a radical anti-war group in the 1960's and 70's. In 1973, the federal government requested the dismissal of the charges against the couple in the interest of national security following accusations of government misconduct, but charges against Dohrn remained. She turned herself in to authorities in 1980 and was placed on probation and ordered to pay a fine of $1500.
Now that we know the gist of the relationship, can we let this one go? Please? Sheesh. I might point out that the City of Chicago awarded Ayres "Citizen of the Year" honors in 1997 for working to reform the city's public school system. Right around the time a young senator met him for the first time.

And yet.....

Only 13.7% failed to identify Sarah Palin as the person on which their party spent $150,000 in clothes
That's because we live in a technologically based age. Google Sarah Palin and clothes - guess what comes up - "Results 1 - 10 of about 5,950,000 English pages for Sarah Palin Clothes"

Only 6.2% failed to identify Palin as the one with a pregnant teenage daughter
This would have been terrible, had Bill O'Reilley not gone on air chastising celebrity teenage mothers mere months before he went on air and claimed that Sarah Palin having a pregnant teenage daughter should be off-limits. I'd like to know how many McCain supporters knew about Bristol Palin - my guess is it's the same on either side of the board.

And 86.9 % thought that Palin said that she could see Russia from her "house," even though that was Tina Fey who said that!!
I get that Tina Fey hilariously said this - but she never would have said it, had Sarah Palin not based her foreign policy experience on Alaska's proximity to Russia.

Only 2.4% got at least 11 correct.
If I would have been asked these questions, I would have gotten some wrong too. And I would have flat out refused to answer most of them. And I said it before, and I'll say it again, what were the responses of McCain supporters? How many of them truly understood who William Ayres is? How many of them knew that Joe Biden was accused of plagerism? How many of them saw Tina Fey on Saturday Night Live?

Only .5% got all of them correct. (And we "gave" one answer that was technically not Palin, but actually Tina Fey)

I will tell you why McCain/Palin lost - because their Rovian tactics backfired, because yelling that Obama palled around with terrorists was the last thing on people's minds as the economy tanked, because instead of addressing the issues at hand, McCain's camp sunk so low as to pull in an underqualified candidate solely because she was female. That is why they lost. Don't believe me? Ask to die hard Republicans who voted Democrat this year for the first time ever. Ask them why they didn't want to vote for McCain. They'll tell you that they were turned off by the negative campaigning, that they couldn't support four more years of Bush economic policies....

Enough of that....onto my second offensive email. This one was titled "WARNING!". I opened it up, and it was in short a tutorial on Black Widow spiders. It talked about how they mate and kill their partners, and that you knew when you saw a black widow, due to it's distinct bright red hourglass markings.....and then you scrolled down and saw a picture of the Obama family, focusing on Michelle on Election Night, when she walked onto the stage with her victorious husband wearing a black dress with red markings. I mean, that kind of shit is just nasty.

Like I said, the person who sent them is a gigantic douchebag and no one I have association with anymore, but I must still be in his email addresses, because I've gotten several offensive emails from him. I should just send him a note and ask him to kindly knock the bullshit off, but I realize that some people are just flat out ignorant, and there's not a whole lot you can do about it.
So this post is a plea to all of you non-ignorants out there. Please, no matter which way you voted, let's all focus on how we can start to repair America. Let's focus on how we can best take care of our neighbors in need, and do our best to support our new government officials. That's all I ask.
Thanks!

Less then 24 Hours!

2008-11-03T22:09:00.000-08:00

We are all big time Obama supporters around this hiz-ouse!

I must say, for the record, that Jason opposed putting Roxy in clothing!

VEGUSTA Part One

2008-10-27T21:54:00.000-07:00

We returned from Vegas this afternoon, and I have many, many good stories to tell. Therefore, I will break them down into parts. I should have blogged while we were in Vegas, but a) I was too lazy and b) it cost a shit ton of money to access a horrible internet connection, and I just kept loosing my patience. So sorry.
So here is part one -
We flew on Allegent Air - which meant we got to fly out of Bellingham direct to Vegas. We paid extra to make sure we got our seats together, but guess what? IT STILL DIDN'T HAPPEN. So we were assigned seats 9D and 10D, one directly behind the other, which already did not make me very happy, but what can you do? I would have thrown myself on the floor in a fit, but my prego belly makes that a little difficult these days.
Anyhow, we get onto the plane, and guess what - the new seats they assigned us had been assigned to someone else, so we had to run around the plane for the only two seats left - one in the exit row, and one next to a lady who was truthfully at least six hundred years old. And sitting in the aisle seat. This presented a couple of problems......one, I need to go to the bathroom about fourteen times an hour. That's what happens when a small baby inside of you decides a good resting spot and/or punching bag is your bladder. So I can't sit on the inside near the window, because it means I would have to climb over an elderly woman every three minutes, and at least one of those times I'd probably break her hip, which would be horrid. Funny, but horrid.
So poor Jason had to sit next to the oldest person who ever lived, and I got the roominess of an exit row. But I told him it sucked, just to make him feel better.
Anyhow, I ended up sitting next to this family of women from Canada and they were all the wingnuttiest sons of bitches you ever met. I almost peed about six thousand times, as they told me stories of their travels together. These four sisters take a trip every year, and this year was a Vegas Vacation, and they started the festivities on the plane. Man oh man, they were getting WASTED and telling me ridiculous things, such as....
"I had a full hysterectomy. I went home and told my daughter that now when her dad was going south, if he yelled into my vagina he'd get an echo."
Who says that to strangers? I'll tell you who - THE GREATEST PEOPLE ALIVE. And Canadians, apparently.
Not to mention, they were incredibly sympathetic about the fact that in the States there aren't mandates about maternity leave - in Canada, you get a YEAR off, PAID! Granted, it's not full pay, but like 60-75% of your annual wages. Plus, mothers can take six months and then fathers can take the remaining six months. How fucking awesome is that?
Well, we got into Vegas about 8pm on Thursday night, and we grabbed food and started prancing around......and then got a good night's sleep for Friday's festivities. Which I will tell you about in Part Deux.

AAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!

2008-10-13T11:31:00.000-07:00

Have you ever just had one of those days where you feel TOTALLY and completely overwhelmed? And your first response is to a) crawl under your desk or b) completely lose it and start crying? Today is that day for me, and I can't figure out if it's because I'm exhausted or because it's Monday or whatever - but it sucks!
On a humorous note - last night I had a dream with one of my least favorite people in it, and when I woke up my arms were crossed across my chest in a very defensive posture like THIS: but I wasn't smiling.
On a happy note - part of the reason I am so tired is because baby Jacob thinks it is a wonderful hobby to kick me in the middle of the night. It's an odd sensation, getting kicked in the ovaries at 2 a.m.......but it means he is doing well, which is always welcome assurance.

Butt Surgery!

2008-10-08T20:47:00.000-07:00

Our poor dog Shay -
First of all, she's very old - 10, which is old for a big ol' Lab like herself. A year ago, the vet found a small growth on her bung, and he told us to watch it (sick), as if it grew or started to bother her, it would need to be removed.
Well, it grew. As did a second growth on her leg. And her teeth were all fucked up. So she went in for surgery today, and had two teeth removed, a lump off her butt, and a lump off her leg.
Besides the hilarity that does ensue when a dog is fucked up on meds, I actually felt real real bad, because she's obviously having a hard time getting around. Also, she was STARVING to death, as she's total food hound, so every time someone so much as moved a bag around in the kitchen, she was trying to get up and wander around.
She seems to be doing better this evening, I hope that she sleeps well tonight and is on the path to recovery - poor dog.

Why John McCain is an Even Bigger Piece of Shit then I give him credit for

2008-09-30T15:45:00.000-07:00

This makes me so angry I could spit. Or karate chop that old Skeletor looking fuck.
This is from the May 30th L.A. Times, written by Edward Humes, and after you read it, please answer me why we are not talking more about this.
Fucking asshole.
When Obama (who has averaged an 86% rating from the Disabled Veterans of America) criticized McCain on the GI Bill, the Arizona senator angrily suggested that Obama's status as a non-veteran rendered his opinions on military matters worthless (an odd stance, as this standard would also discount the opinions of 85% of American men, 98.8% of American women and two-thirds of Congress). Then he invited a look at his own record by asserting, "I take a back seat to no one in my affection, respect and devotion to veterans."
So let's take McCain up on his invitation. Here is how he has stood on recent legislation supported by major veterans organizations:

* On Webb's GI Bill, he expressed opposition, and he was AWOL when it was time to vote on May 22.

* Last September, he voted against another Webb bill that would have mandated adequate rest for troops between combat deployments.

* On a badly needed $1.5-billion increase for veterans medical services for fiscal year 2007 -- to be funded through closing corporate tax loopholes -- he voted no. He also voted against establishing a trust fund to bolster under-budgeted veterans hospitals.

* In May 2006, he voted against a $20-billion allotment for expanding swamped veterans medical facilities.

* In April 2006, he was one of 13 Senate Republicans who voted against an amendment to provide $430 million for veterans outpatient care.

* In March 2004, he voted against and helped defeat on a party-line vote a $1.8-billion reserve for veterans medical care, also funded by closing tax loopholes.

Before the Senate voted on Webb's GI legislation, McCain offered what he called a compromise bill, but it was rejected. Webb pointed out that there really was no compromise in McCain's proposal because it would have excluded most veterans by offering full education benefits only to those with multiple enlistments, even though 70% to 75% of enlistees leave after one tour.

Compare McCain's stingy standards with the original GI Bill: Any veteran who served 90 days during World War II, in combat or not, earned full benefits. It is Webb's bill that represents the reasonable compromise between the gold standard set for the "greatest generation's" original GI benefits and what is doable in today's economy: a GI Bill that will truly pay for a college education after three years of service, without the onerous payroll deduction.

So here is where the McCain image and reality part company. It is certainly true that his affectionate and respectful rhetoric for America's servicemen and women takes a back seat to no one. But when it comes to improving the health and education of our veterans, McCain's record leaves them stranded by the side of the road.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION YOU SHOULD KNOW!
From 2004 to 2006, the Disabled Veterans of America gave him annual scores ranging from 50% to the most recent 20% when it comes to supporting the group's legislative priorities. The Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America gave him a grade of "D" in its most recent analysis of voting records. The American Legion says he is dead wrong on the GI Bill, as does the Veterans of Foreign Wars.

This guy is so unbelievable......should we really be worried that he could win this thing? If he wins, I'm moving to New Zealand.

Fucking Skuzbags

2008-09-30T15:09:00.000-07:00

Let me just say that I'm sick and tired of that crusty old fuck John McCain misconstruing everything and LYING all over the place.
First major lie - blaming Barack Obama for the Bailout proposal failing -
Here's his quote: "Our leaders are expected to leave partisanship at the door and come to the table to solve our problems. Senator Obama and his allies in Congress infused unnecessary partisanship into the process," McCain said during a campaign stop in Iowa.
The lie - ummmmm........according to Congress, the vote failed as follows: 40% of Democrats voted to reject the bailout plan, and 2/3 of Republicans voted to reject! Secondly, the reason Congressmen and women rejected the bailout is because there is still language and direction in the bill that essentially states that we, as taxpayers, are expected to hand over $350 BILLION, NO QUESTIONS ASKED. We can never come back and ask for legal action to try to understand or track where that money went, nor can we ever persue legal action to recover that money. And here's the real fuck up the cornhole - it leaves the door open so that Henry Paulson can come back and take another $350 BILLION if he feels he needs it. Mind you, we've been loaning money to these mother fuckers for a long time now - well over $100 BILLION so far. Frankly, I'm glad it failed, because I'm sick of the idea that we've got to bail out shady mother fuckers who made speculative loans and then, to repay them, BORROWED FROM THEMSELVES. I'm horrible with money, and even I know better then this.
The only person injecting partisenship into this issue currently is John McCain. If every Republican would have voted to pass this bill, he might have an argument. But with 66% of Republicans in Congress rejecting this sham of a bill that further entitles ripping off the American public, he doesn't have a lot of room to talk.
LAST NOTE ON THIS SHIT - I personally don't blame ANY politican from getting as far away from this "crisis" as possible. And let's face it - any politican who pushed for deregulation (John McCain, I'm talking to you) is responsible for this economic collapse. Pure and simple.
LIE NUMBER TWO - Less of a lie, more of misleading horseshit.
John McCain is running internet banner ads that claim Barack Obama is endorsing him because during last Friday night's debate, Obama said (on several occasions) "I agree with Senator McCain, but...." or something along those lines. I watched the debate. Obama was trying to create an idea of bi-partisenship, showing his strength as a leader that he can cross party lines. After every time Obama mentioned he agreed with McCain on an issue, he followed up with a gem like this: "Well, I think Senator McCain's absolutely right that we need more responsibility, but we need it not just when there's a crisis. I mean, we've had years in which the reigning economic ideology has been what's good for Wall Street, but not what's good for Main Street."
Here's another one: "And, John, I -- you're absolutely right that presidents have to be prudent in what they say. But, you know, coming from you, who, you know, in the past has threatened extinction for North Korea and, you know, sung songs about bombing Iran, I don't know, you know, how credible that is. I think this is the right strategy."
I don't like when people distort shit for their own gain - and I think it's pretty evidentiary of the character of John McCain. I know that I should be a bit "higherbrow", but there are no words to describe McCain other then these:
-Fucking stupid
-Absolutely frightening
-A dirty, whorebag liar
I wish that the majority of the American public weren't so stupid that they would do a little bit of research to find out the truth, and realize that they are being manipulated and lied to on a fairly regular basis. But alas, more people are interested in voting for Palin because "they like her glasses" - which is a real thing voters said as their reason for supporting her. REALLY?
Oh well.....we'll have to see how it pans out, and I can't wait for the debate on Thursday. And in case you're curious where the G.O.P. has hidden their VP candidate - she's at (not shitting you in any way, shape or form) DEBATE CAMP this week at the McCain ranch in Arizona.
I swear to god, if I lose my house, I'm moving into one of McCain's eight estates.

Beautiful Boy

2008-09-29T21:56:00.000-07:00

Hello Again my darling Jacob:
We found out today that you are, indeed, a Jacob - daddy was so excited, your big brother Kalen was thrilled - and I was just so happy that you had ten fingers and ten toes that it took me awhile to process that you were a boy of my own! My son!
I was thinking today that you might be the luckiest boy ever born...because your dad and I are surrounded by wonderful and amazing people who make up our families and extended families (i.e. friends) who love us and support us....and that in turn becomes love and support for you, my darling. Never in your life will you ever feel that someone, somewhere on any corner of the globe doesn't love you - because I can tell you that you are. No matter where you go or what you do, you will have the safety net of love at all times of your life.
I love you my son, and I will love and cherish you forever and ever.
Love,
Mommy

On a lighter note.....

2008-09-28T14:04:00.000-07:00

I joined the Young Democrats of Skagit County, and just this week we became OFFICIAL! We approved our Constitution and are now chartered, and I'm happy to report that I was elected Secretary of our executive board. That means I now get to do secretarial type duties including taking minutes and whatever else the board president deems necessary. My first executive meeting is tomorrow! WOOOHOOO!
Let this be a reminder to all of you how truly awesome I am.

Brain fart, writer's block, whatever you want to call it

2008-09-24T12:25:00.000-07:00

HI!
Sorry I haven't written, I hope no one has felt the desire to jump out a window due to the immense sadness of me not keeping up on current blogs. Sorry about it.
In case you have been living in a cave, the economy is really in the shitter right about now. And my job, unfortunately, succeeds or fails based on the nature of the economy. So guess how good my job is going? If you guessed not very good, you win a prize.
I'll write more later - right now I'm headed off to a meeting to discuss (gulp) where we are headed financially as an agency.

Yippee! Obama Stuff!

2008-09-17T18:17:00.000-07:00

So tonight I stopped at the grocery store, and parked next to this work truck - I live in kind of a rural area, so people's work trucks aren't an uncommon sight. In the back window of the truck was a real life LASSO, which was pretty awesome, but then I just pranced right in the store, thinking nothing of it. You've seen one farm truck, you've seen 'em all.
I came out of the store with my groceries, and started loading them into the trunk of my car. A guy was walking towards me, and all of the sudden he yelled, "GO OBAMA!" I looked closer at him, and he was wearing this totally radical Obama for Change shirt, and he said, "I like your bumper stickers!" So I said, "I like your shirt!" So then he says, "You should check out my Obama magnet on the back of my truck" and I realized he was talking about the work truck (with the LASSO) parked right next to me! So then I go back and look, and he has one of the cool Obey Giant Hope magnets (see photo below). He also has all sorts of cowboy and farm shit (probably literally) in the bed of his truck, and I kind of chuckled to myself that this is someone I would never have pegged for an Obama supporter.
So we say our goodbyes, and I just left the lot feeling so good, thinking how nice it was that the traditional ideals of the Democratic party are being blown right out of the water, and Barack Obama is appealing to all sorts of different kinds of people! Isn't that cool?

A Letter To Senator Obama

2008-09-16T16:51:00.001-07:00

I sent this letter on Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Hello Senator Obama and campaign staff:
Thank you all so much for your tireless work and for inspiring me to be a catalyst for change - I am so proud to be an American at this moment!
I wanted to write and let you know why I choose to support Obama and Biden in 2008.
I work for a nonprofit Community Action Partnership agency....one of the hundreds in the United States, and one of 32 in the state of Washington. We serve over 20% of our community annually (about 25,000 individuals per year), assisting them with emergent needs like shelter and transportation, and long term needs like housing, medical assistance, food stamps, care for the elderly, etc.
We have seen a steady increase in the number of people we are serving in our little county. (Skagit County, Washington, just north of Seattle, has a population of 115,000 or so). This is due in part to several reasons - 1) transportation costs have gotten so high, we are seeing parents who have to decide whether to put gas in their cars to get to work, or pay the electric bill, 2) foreclosures are up, meaning people who never thought they would need our services are now feeling backed into a corner, and 3) the cost of living, as everywhere else, is rising here well beyond what our “working poor” are earning.
I have seen the stressors placed on families in crisis, and have had to witness what our unstable economy has done to our working class. It SICKENS me to think that America could even consider for one second the idea of placing someone in the White House who doesn't have the needs of the public in mind.
I have appreciated what I have heard from Senator Obama, and believe in his promises of change. Ever since I was an AmeriCorps member in the mid-nineties (which paid for my college education), I have vowed to support candidates who support people like me, people like those who I love and care about, and people like the ones I serve. Senator Obama and Senator Biden are those people.
On a personal note, my husband and I discovered this summer that we are expecting. I do not want to have a child burdened with continual debt, simply for being born an American citizen. If I have a son, I don't want to worry about him fighting in a war that is unjust, and if I have a daughter, I don't want to ever have to worry about her loosing choices about her reproductive rights. I don't want my child to be raised in the shadow of a government that doesn't care about their education, or how we'll pay for college. I don't want to raise my child under the scrutiny of the ideals of a government that implies that someone's sexuality makes them bad and not entitled to the same rights as everyone else.
I have deep concerns for a better America for the citizens I serve, and for the child that I am bringing into this world. If you need inspiration during this long and often cruel fight, please remember that there are Americans like me who believe in you and your causes.....and we believe that the changes you will make to this country will be substantial, measurable, and create better lives and communities for us all!
Thank you for all you do.
Sincerely,
Sara Elisabeth Welty
Burlington, Washington

To Baby Welty

2008-09-16T12:56:00.000-07:00

Hello My Darling Young One:
Well, your arrival is just about the biggest news to hit our family since.....EVER. We are so excited that you are growing just like you should, and we sure can't wait to meet you! I wonder if you will look more like me or daddy, who's sense of humor you will get (I sure hope you get some of Grandpa J's - he's hilarious!), what kind of personality you will have, what kind of child and young adult you will grow to be....I'm so excited to start this adventure, and I'm so anxious for you to get here, especially since I am getting bigger and bigger and can barely tie my shoes anymore!
I just want to be the best mommy I can for you - I want you to always know that you can count on me, and I will always, always be there for you. I will never ever ever stop loving you with all my heart and soul. I will protect you and raise you and care for you until the day I leave this earth. I will celebrate your joys, I will mourn your lows, I will heap praise on you, and I will do everything in my power to make you into the most incredible adult you can be.
You're so lucky to have a daddy like you do - because you will be the apple of his eye from now to eternity. He will guide you and help mold you, and encourage you to be your own person.....he will incite you to learn and mature and become a responsible, happy grown-up. He will teach you to be the best spouse, the best friend, the best parent this world has ever seen. You will learn from his example, which makes not only you blessed, but also the people you will grow to love as you age.
My expectations for you will never falter, because I just know that you will be the very best at all that you set your mind to. I will open doors and give you life experiences that shape you and change you.
When you are sixteen and very angry with daddy and me, I hope you read this and the other notes I've written you and realize that there is not any moment in this lifetime that we will ever stop loving you. There is nothing you can do or say that will for one second change how we feel about you.
I love you to the moon and back,
Mommy

Great News! Horray!

2008-09-14T11:34:00.000-07:00

Financial reports for both campaigns were released for the month of August, and Barack Obama's campaign raised (drumroll please) $66 MILLION DOLLARS! As impressive is that 500,000 new donors gave during the month of August!
That is a record for grassroots campaign dollars in American politics!
YES WE CAN!

I've Got a Fist of Fury

2008-09-14T10:09:00.000-07:00

Last night, laying in bed tossing and turning, I decided that what I need to be focusing on are all of the positive reasons I have decided to support Barack Obama and Joe Biden. That wasting my time getting mad at the McSame camp is really a waste of my time. So this will be my final rant about the "other" party (yea, right).
I understand that politics are dirty - but lying is unacceptable. And it's pretty bad when someone like Mitt Romney calls you out for lying, John McCain. Mitt Romney is the used car salesman of the Republican party, for God's sake. Yes, it is true - Mitt Romney went on record to say that not only has John McCain been called out on his "sex-ed for kindergartners" advertisement by major media outlets, but that when McCain makes false accusations, if he chooses to stand by them (as he insists on doing), he should understand the damage that he is causing the Republican Party. "I think people are really going to say 'What's the heart and soul of the Republican party going forward?'" Romney is quoted as saying. You can see his remarks here.
I'm tired of the lies Sarah Palin is perpetuating, including the Bridge to Nowhere - she supported this development of infrastructure during her campaign for governor, and took $233 MILLION dollars in pork barrel funds - even though John McCain, during an appearance on "The View" this past Friday, claimed that she never took pork barrel funds as governor of Alaska. I'm sure his campaign will just say he "misspoke" - as they did when he made the claim that Sarah Palin sold the governor's private jet on eBay, for a profit. The truth is, she tried to sell the plane on eBay, was unable to do so, and used a private airplane brokerage to sell it - for a loss to the state.
Additionally, I think that it's really unfortunate that the media is focusing so much on TrooperGate and Sarah Palin, and not addressing some of the root issues associated with that. Not only is there concern that she abused her power in order to fire her top public safety official, Walt Monegan, because he refused to fire the state trooper who was her brother-in-law after a nasty divorce, but Alaska ranks number one in rapes, and number two in murders by men against women, and number two in instances of domestic violence. Let me remind you that Alaska's population is less then one million people. That's smaller then King County. Well, who do you think was the biggest advocate for laws to protect women in Alaska? Walt Monegan, who is now out of a job. Why aren't people talking about that?
Let me go on the record and say that part of the reason I am so upset that a candidate for president is telling out and out lies is because it's more of the same shit we've been fed for the last eight years. Need I remind you that GWB told a real whopper when he told Americans that Sadam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, and we needed to invade in order to keep America safe....a lie. And need I remind you of the biggest mother fucking whopper of all? Check it out HERE.
I swear I'm going to try to do a better job of talking up Barack Obama's strong points, because I believe he is the correct advocate for change for this country and has the rights of all women in mind....unlike his Republican counterparts. But if something else ridiculous happens, please forgive me if I go off on a tirade, as I've been known to do....occasionally.
Some really interesting additional information can be found here, and an interesting editorial from the NY Times can be found here.

"Even I can't believe half the shit I say!"

Date Night Anger!

2008-09-12T21:07:00.000-07:00

Tonight was our date night, and Jason took me to our favorite restaurant - The Cliff House - in Bellingham. It was, as usual, DELICIOUS and I ate way too much, as is the norm nowadays.
Our date was going wonderfully, until these two horrible women sat down at the table across from us. Now, you can't really blame me for judging people with terrible hair - after all, don't they have mirrors at home? Sheesh. Anyhow, these two ladies, while waiting for their husbands, started up a very high-brow discussion about politics. Here's a transcript:
Bad Hair One - So I watched that fishing show on Discovery - you know, the one about scary things that happen at sea....
Bad Hair Two - Dangerous Catch! Sure!
Bad Hair One - Anyhow, it really scared me! Scary stuff!
Bad Hair Two - Interesting about that show....when Cindy McCain is on the road with John, she downloads Deadliest Catch and Ice Truckers to her iPod!
Bad Hair One - No kidding! I guess I will have to watch Ice Truckers now!
Bad Hair Two - chuckle chuckle
Bad Hair One - So, do you like Sarah Palin?
Bad Hair Two - Oh, Sarah? Of COURSE I LOVE HER! What a strong, strong woman!
Bad Hair One - I know! Aren't we lucky that she could be our next Vice President!
Bad Hair Two - I just feel so bad about all the ATTACKS she has to endure, and this mudslinging she has been subjected to. Barack Obama is leading a vicious, vicious manhunt - a real example of reverse McCarthy-ism. It's disgusting and disgraceful!
Bad Hair One - I couldn't agree more.
And....SCENE.
Luckily, the husbands showed up and started yappin' about fishing, so I didn't have to hear anymore.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but WHAT THE FUCK. What is Reverse McCarthy-ism? Well, I ASSUME it's the opposite of McCarthyism, which is this:
(per Wikipedia)McCarthyism is a term describing the intense anti-communist suspicion in the United States in a period that lasted roughly from the late 1940s to the late 1950s. This period is also referred to as the Second Red Scare, and coincided with increased fears about communist influence on American institutions and espionage by Soviet agents. Originally coined to criticize the actions of U.S. Senator Joseph McCarthy, "McCarthyism" later took on a more general meaning, not necessarily referring to the conduct of Joseph McCarthy alone.
During this time many Americans were accused of being Communists or communist sympathizers and became the subject of aggressive investigations and questioning before government or private-industry panels, committees and agencies. The primary targets of such suspicions were government employees, those in the entertainment industry, educators and union activists. Suspicions were often given credence despite inconclusive or questionable evidence, and the level of threat posed by a person's real or supposed leftist associations or beliefs were often greatly exaggerated. Many people suffered loss of employment, destruction of their careers, and even imprisonment. Most of these punishments came about through trial verdicts later overturned,[1] laws that would be declared unconstitutional,[2] dismissals for reasons later declared illegal[3] or actionable,[4] or extra-legal procedures that would come into general disrepute.
So am I to assume that reverse McCarthyism is the non-suspicion and non-accusations of people? That reverse McCarthyism would mean that blanket accusations aren't being made, that research is being done in order to make sure if someone is being accused of treason or lying or having a different lifestyle that information is accurate before spreading fear? So, isn't that a GOOD THING?
I don't care if people talk politics, as long as they aren't the dumbest people who ever lived......and these two women this evening may very well be the dumbest people alive.
Bad Hair Lady One had hair like this:

Bad Hair Lady Two had hair like this:

And they were dumber then a bag of these:

I Done Got Myself Knocked Up

2008-09-12T15:27:00.000-07:00

And here's the proof!

A bit fuzzy, and my nose looks weird, but you get the idea....

Please take a moment to focus on my beautiful smile......

Game of the Week

2008-09-12T11:09:00.001-07:00

Alright, alright, so the USC-Ohio State game MIGHT be a big deal, but I still am declaring the game of the week to be ASU vs. UNLV!
Here's the info - now watch, my pretties.
At ASU's loverly Sun Devil Stadium
Kickoff at 7:00 p.m.
Televised on Fox Arizona (too bad for me)

I know, kind of a weak sauce game, but next week ASU takes on mother-fucking Georgia. And I mean that literally, because I'm pretty sure every kid on the Georgia football team fucks their mothers. Or their uncles. Maybe their cousins? Anyhow, they're into incest.

Voter Registration

2008-09-12T11:03:00.001-07:00

Hey All!
With only 53 days (I think) until the Presidential Election, it's important to be registered to vote.....if you are, and you need an absentee ballot, now is the time to request one, or if you are not sure where your polling place is, now is the time to figure that out.
Also, if you are not sure if you are registered, you should probably figure that out as well.
If you want to do any of those things, you can visit this site, enter your first and last name and a little additional information and find out all you need to know.
The best part is it only takes about three minutes!

Sometimes, You Just Have To Find an Issue You're Passionate About

2008-09-12T08:12:00.001-07:00

Like Pam Anderson and PETA....
See what this animal rights activist has to say about VP candidate Sarah Palin HERE!
Make sure you watch the video - her expressions are priceless!

My Political Guru

The Fallen Six

2008-09-10T11:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was fortunate to attend the memorial service for Deputy Anne Jackson of the Skagit County Sheriff's Department.
It was a beautiful and moving ceremony which marked the end of innocence in Skagit County - bad things that happen elsewhere are not supposed to happen here, and that changed last week.
Our community is a better place because of Deputy Jackson and the other five victims: Greg Gillum, Dave Radcliffe, Julie Binschus, Chester "Chet" Rose, and LeRoy Lange.
You can read about the memorial HERE.

Thank you Deputy Jackson, for your dedicated service, your love of our community, and your tireless effort to make Skagit County a safe and wonderful place to live. You will be missed.
And thank you to Chet, Greg, David, LeRoy and Julie for being wonderful people who graced our community. Your presence will be missed.

Deputy Anne Jackson

Greg Gillum

Julie Binschus

David Radcliffe

Chester "Chet" Rose

LeRoy Lange

Lipstick on a pig? REALLY?

2008-09-10T10:09:00.000-07:00

So this is what the argument is about? John McCain's camp is accusing Barack Obama's campaign of taking a cheap shot at VP candidate Sarah Palin because in a speech yesterday, Senator Obama made the following comment in reference to McCain's economic policies being similar to GWB's:
"You can put lipstick on a pig ... it's still a pig. You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called change. It's still going to stink after eight years."
Personally, I think two things about this - 1) Nice try with the gender card, McCain and Camp. Weak sauce. And 2) the expression "You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig" is not used nearly enough. I plan on using it no fewer then eight times today.
I would like to point out, for the record, that John McCain said, on October 11, 2007 in reference to Senator Hillary Clinton's health care plan, "You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig." Where is the apology to Senator Clinton for that remark, Mr. McCain? If it's so important to you to receive an apology for your VP candidate because Senator Obama's remarks were so pointedly focused on her gender, where is your accountability?
You don't get to play both sides of the coin here.
If you need proof about John McCain making a very similar statement to Senator Obama's, you can see it HERE.

Some Bacon Fanatics......

2008-09-08T13:17:00.000-07:00

Are just not fucking around AT ALL.
See what I mean HERE!

A bacon briefcase? Why yes, I will take eggs with that.

Why I Do It

2008-09-08T11:07:00.000-07:00

With America a figurative hot bed of political activity, I'm finding two sides to the coin on writing about politics. My sister, who is brilliant, chooses not to write about politics or her views on her site - yet some of my friends, and myself, choose to use our blogs as a forum to discuss our upcoming election and the government in general. I wanted to explain why I am using my blog to talk about these things - not because I need to justify (okay, maybe I do a little bit), but because I believe that it is important to you, my friends, families and perhaps random readers to understand why I do what I do. (Which again, I believe is a dictionary description of justification....oh well).
I don't take for granted the fact that we live in a country where opinions can be expressed freely; that what I write won't get me thrown in jail (usually), where I can safely share my beliefs without risk of being drawn and quartered. I think America is so amazing for that very reason. Whenever I see protesters (nonviolent), or community activists, or read the opinionated words of a writer of essays or in a letter to the editor, or people registering others to vote or sign petitions, it makes me proud to live in this country. I think it's very easy for us to forget that in some parts of the world, women who share political or religious views are murdered; that people who stand up for their beliefs are thrown in prison with no trial or recourse.
I know that my views are different than the views of many others. I understand that just because we may not agree politically doesn't make me great and you horrid. I also understand that in a free society such as ours, we should be encouraged to have open, honest dialog - that we should be encouraged to voice our opinion. It's amazing that we live in a time when we are told we should speak up for change if we deem it necessary, even if it goes against the grain! What an amazing time and place we live in, where these behaviors are supported and relatively risk free.
That being said, I hope that those of you who read my blogs don't find me offensive or pushy. I understand that my views are not going to change the mind of my very bright and knowledgeable sister. She and I disagree on politics - we always have. It doesn't mean that I don't respect her for her opinions and love her as much as I ever have, it just means that we don't see eye to eye on everything. I worry more about offending her sensibilities more then I worry about offending anyone else!
I use this forum to share my ideas for change only because I was raised by two amazingly strong parents who encouraged both my sister and I to be catalysts for changing systems that don't work. But my parents also instilled in both my sister and I that we should figure out what doesn't work for us, and still push the limits of change, even if no one else agrees.
I share my opinions because I believe that the United States is in dire need of change. I work in social services, and I see daily the toll that the direction of our current government is taking on the working poor. I have found a candidate who I support, believing him to be the stronger proponent for changing our current system. That doesn't mean that I'm psychic and know exactly how America will shape up after the election, and it certainly doesn't mean that I'm going to spend my time and energy trying to convince you to vote for my candidate. Although I wouldn't mind it if you did! :) However, I just hope that the words that I write encourage you to work for change, however you see that picture to be. And vote, for God's sake.

Don't email me and tell me I left off the Green Party, or the Libertarian Party or Independents or whatever. I really don't have that much room, so the symbols for Democrats and Republicans are going to have to do. Too bad for you.

Oh Crazy Britney, We Hardley Knew Thee

2008-09-08T10:01:00.001-07:00

Let me just say this - I LOVE ME SOME BRITNEY, BITCHES.
But I especially loved trainwreck Britney and her wackado knocked up sister. So I've been pretty sad that the only Britney gossip I've been able to get lately is just her doing normal things. What happened to the Britney who drove with a baby in her lap? The Britney who shot her kids up with heroin? (OK, maybe that didn't happen). Needless to say, I miss coocoo Britney.
But I will tell you this, from my mouth to God's ears - Britney looked, dare I say, fucking put together at the VMA's! Mother of Pearl. Ol' Captain Crazy was gone, and in her place was someone who could complete sentences and stand, unassisted, at the podium.
And Britney (bitch) won three awards at the VMA's yesterday - the first time ever, even though she's been nominated 17 times previously. So I think the valuable lesson to be taken from all of this is that being good and acting all prim and proper gets you nothing, but going shit-ass bat poop crazy and recovering in the public eye gets you awards.
Many congrats Brit Brit!

"This is for my fans....And the bad men who live in my head."

Dog People

2008-09-08T07:37:00.000-07:00

I have two dogs - here's their picture:

Aren't they cute? I know.
Anyhow, I'm weird about my dogs - like I talk to them like they're little humans, Jason and I will make them their own pancakes, we take them on "playdates" - you know, weird. However, I realized this weekend that I am no where as weird as some dog owners.
This weekend was the "Dog's Life" festival in Mount Vernon. I only took Roxy because our Shay girl is getting old and she sometimes likes to nip at other dogs, and the last thing I need is to get sued. Anyhow, I took Roxy for two specific reasons - one, I like free shit, and two, there are a group of people from Skagit County who work with their dogs to train them in agility - getting dogs to weave through poles, run across a teeter totter, run through a little tunnel - you know, a bunch of bullshit for some treats. I thought it would be something that Roxy would enjoy, considering that even after I take her for long walks she still lays around looking bored out of her mind and that makes me feel like the worst person who ever lived.
Well, I was invited by these dog agility people to show up and talk to them to see if that was something good for Roxy....but the people were such amazing assholes I really wanted to kick them all in the balls. What a group of snobby, elitist fucks. I wanted to yell at them "you know what? You TRAIN dogs, assholes...you're not curing cancer" but that wouldn't have done a whole lot of good. They had all these stupid inside jokes about their dogs (barf) and when I tried to get Roxy to do the trial course they pretty much laughed in my faces about how I worked with her. What a bunch of dicks.
So therefore, I have decided that I'm going to try to get Roxy enrolled in herding classes because I think that would be good exercise - but so help me god, if one dog person asshole says something sideways to me, I am going to karate chop them like no other.

Big Mother-F-ing Game Saturday

2008-09-05T12:52:00.000-07:00

Alright kids, pay attention. Here's info on the college game of the week:
STANFORD (nerds) at NUMBER 15(yeehaw!) ARIZONA STATE
7 P.M.

Please tune in to watch those idiotic trees (jerks) start crying.
GO DEVILS!!!!!!

The big news with this game is that Toby Gerhart is the running back for Stanford, while his brother Garth is backup center for ASU. I have always wondered - how do the parents choose who to root for? Does dad pick one and mom pick the other, or do they have a favorite kid?

"You Wanna Piece of Me? Shocker, as Everyone Else Already Has One"

2008-09-05T12:37:00.001-07:00

You know, when Britney went off the deep end (AWESOMEST THING EVER) I felt kind of bad. Not so bad that I didn't make fried chicken jokes at her expense, but still kind of bad, because I speculated that the reason she was so (fried) Chicken Shit crazy was due to her horrible upbring.
And guess what? Turns out that I was 100 percent correct, as usual. Here are some real shockers (right) that Lynne Spears included in her newest book Through The Storm (a.k.a. The Dangers of My Birth Canal and the Detrimental Effects of Being Born to Me) about the perils of being the mother of a fucking cash cow (unlimited access to finances was suprisingly not listed):
1. Britney started drinking at 13 when she was still a Mouseketter and started experimenting with drugs at age 15
2. Britney really lost her virginity at age 14, then lied to (god I wanna hump hump) Justin Timberlake about it, convincing him that he was her first.
3. At age 16, Britney was caught on a private jet in possession of cocaine and marijuana
4. Lynne Spears ADMITS that she allowed Britney's football playing boyfriend to spend the night at their home when Britney was 14, and that she allowed(!) Britney to sleep with Justin Timberlake at age 16.
JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH. I really think it is a miracle that Britney hasn't been arrested for climbing the Empire State Building naked, grasping Faye Raye in one hand while swinging the other at airplanes dive bombing her, then fighting with a giant lizard in the middle of the street.

"Really? You're SHOCKED that this is how it ended up? Let me introduce you to my mother......"

Pretty sure these would have been a better mother for those Spears girls.

Find Me Someone Cooler the Jon Stewart.....

2008-09-05T11:56:00.001-07:00

And I'll call you a dirty scumbag liar.
See what I mean HERE!

"Thou shalt not worship false idols, unless said false idol is Jon Stewart. Or Tom Selleck's mustache." - Somewhereth in thy Holy Bible-ith.

Why Making Fun of Community Organizers is Dumb

2008-09-05T10:46:00.000-07:00

Special thanks to my friend Liz, who forwarded me some very well written articles regarding the information contained in my blog, and got me inspired to write about it!

In her acceptance speech, Ms. Palin said, "I guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a community organizer, except that you have actual responsibilities."
"I don't even know what that (a community organizer) is," Guiliani sneered. - Time Magazine

I've waited a couple of days to address Ms. Palin's and Rudy Giuliani's comments about the role community organizers play, and the insinuation that perhaps they are not putting their "country" first. The main reason for my wait to address their comments is because my first response was to yell "You mother fucking idiots!" at the top of my lungs and finish my retort with a classy "Shitheads!" But I realize that may not be the most effective way to share my point of view.
So, Governor Palin and Mayor Guiliani, that you might be BETTER informed, let me give you an idea of what community organizers do......
My father (a staunch Republican, none the less) decided that what he should do after Hurricane Katrina struck New Orleans was to head to Louisiana on HIS dime and volunteer his TIME and knowledge for three weeks with Habitat for Humanity and FEMA so that people would be able to come back to their homes and assess whether or not they could rebuild and, more importantly, reclaim anything of value that may have survived the storm. My father spent twelve hours a day sifting through filth and mud, gingerly cleaning off family bibles, collectibles, photographs and children's toys. When our FEDERAL GOVERNMENT dropped the ball and didn't take care of it's citizens, my father was there to make sure people were receiving assistance with the most BASIC of needs. While he volunteered, he ate dinner in makeshift soup kitchens, meeting people displaced by the hurricane and others who had stopped their lives to assist a community in need. THAT IS A COMMUNITY ORGANIZER.
My mother has never turned down a request to assist in her community. She has volunteered through her churches, heading up food and clothing drives. She has given time and money to local nonprofit agencies benefiting children, seniors, and those who need a hand up, not a hand out. When I was a child, there was a family in our community who were facing horrendous financial hardships. I remember my mother babysitting her children so that she could look for work, buying groceries so that they had three meals a day, insuring transportation for this woman and her husband, and encouraging others in the community to give as they could. My mother has never lost sight of the ideal that we must take care of those in our community who, for whatever reason, are unable to care for themselves. THAT IS A COMMUNITY ORGANIZER.
I volunteered for two years as an AmeriCorps member in Mesa, Arizona, working for Boys and Girls Clubs of the East Valley. I worked with teens and youth who would have otherwise fallen through the cracks - the kids I worked with had zero support - their parents were often undocumented; however, the children were born in the United States. By the time I joined the staff of the Grant Woods Branch, their teen program was in disarray, and the concern was how to invest children in their neighborhood club and pull them away from the draw of local gangs who had infiltrated the neighborhood. Teachers had given up trying, police officers had quit trying (and were more interested in arresting), and every adult who was supposed to advocate for these youth had walked away. These children were disenfranchised from the top down - living in poverty, undereducated, uninsured, and vulnerable to criminal activities, drug and alcohol use, and teen pregnancy. I worked very hard (as taught by my parents' examples) to turn the lives of these kids around, and instill the idea of giving back to their community. And guess what? It worked, exceeding mine and the staff of the Club's expectations. If I may toot my own horn, THAT IS A COMMUNITY ORGANIZER.
Community organizers are so beneficial because they are filling the cracks the government misses. They are caring for themselves and their neighborhoods, making the world a better place to be in. Who do you think stocks area food banks? Who keeps clothing bins filled? Who provides meal service to home bound seniors? Who cleans up communities from drug and gang presences? Who offers to teach G.E.D. classes to people interested in earning their diplomas? THESE ARE THE JOBS OF COMMUNITY ORGANIZERS.
To paraphrase Roland S. Martin (you can read his article on community organizers here), Governor Palin and Mayor Guiliani insulted every American who has ever taken stock in their community - every American who has given of themselves to make their world a better place to be.
If the G.O.P. is interested in creating a world where community organizers are not a welcome presence, we are in big trouble.
On a side note: I hope this article and the article by Mr. Martin inspire you to do something where you live. Just a few minutes a week can change lives.

"Yea! I'm not TOTALLY obsolete yet! Oops...perhaps I spoke too soon..."

In the words of TLC - "That's Actual, and Factual". Or perhaps not.....

2008-09-04T14:25:00.000-07:00

This is a repost from the Associated Press that I "borrowed" off of perezhilton.com.

The Associated Press closely watched Governor Sarah Palin, the GOP's VP pick, at last night's RNC convention and has outlined the many ways she exaggerated and lied.

PALIN: "I have protected the taxpayers by vetoing wasteful spending … and championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress. I told the Congress 'thanks but no thanks' for that Bridge to Nowhere."

THE FACTS: As mayor of Wasilla, Palin hired a lobbyist and traveled to Washington annually to support earmarks for the town totaling $27 million. In her two years as governor, Alaska has requested nearly $750 million in special federal spending, by far the largest per-capita request in the nation. While Palin notes she rejected plans to build a $398 million bridge from Ketchikan to an island with 50 residents and an airport, that opposition came only after the plan was ridiculed nationally as a "bridge to nowhere."

PALIN: "There is much to like and admire about our opponent. But listening to him speak, it's easy to forget that this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or reform — not even in the state senate."

THE FACTS: Compared to McCain and his two decades in the Senate, Obama does have a more meager record. But he has worked with Republicans to pass legislation that expanded efforts to intercept illegal shipments of weapons of mass destruction and to help destroy conventional weapons stockpiles. The legislation became law last year. To demean that accomplishment would be to also demean the work of Republican Sen. Richard Lugar of Indiana, a respected foreign policy voice in the Senate. In Illinois, he was the leader on two big, contentious measures in Illinois: studying racial profiling by police and requiring recordings of interrogations in potential death penalty cases. He also successfully co-sponsored major ethics reform legislation.

PALIN: "The Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes, raise payroll taxes, raise investment income taxes, raise the death tax, raise business taxes, and increase the tax burden on the American people by hundreds of billions of dollars."

THE FACTS: The Tax Policy Center, a think tank run jointly by the Brookings Institution and the Urban Institute, concluded that Obama's plan would increase after-tax income for middle-income taxpayers by about 5 percent by 2012, or nearly $2,200 annually. McCain's plan, which cuts taxes across all income levels, would raise after tax-income for middle-income taxpayers by 3 percent, the center concluded.

Obama would provide $80 billion in tax breaks, mainly for poor workers and the elderly, including tripling the Earned Income Tax Credit for minimum-wage workers and higher credits for larger families.

He also would raise income taxes, capital gains and dividend taxes on the wealthiest. He would raise payroll taxes on taxpayers with incomes above $250,000, and he would raise corporate taxes. Small businesses that make more than $250,000 a year would see taxes rise.

The AP report also showed how Palin's champions have exaggerated the Alaskan governor's 'acheivements':

MCCAIN: "She's been governor of our largest state, in charge of 20 percent of America's energy supply … She's responsible for 20 percent of the nation's energy supply. I'm entertained by the comparison and I hope we can keep making that comparison that running a political campaign is somehow comparable to being the executive of the largest state in America," he said in an interview with ABC News' Charles Gibson.

THE FACTS: McCain's phrasing exaggerates both claims. Palin is governor of a state that ranks second nationally in crude oil production, but she's no more "responsible" for that resource than President Bush was when he was governor of Texas, another oil-producing state. In fact, her primary power is the ability to tax oil, which she did in concert with the Alaska Legislature. And where Alaska is the largest state in America, McCain could as easily have called it the 47th largest state — by population.

MCCAIN: "She's the commander of the Alaska National Guard. … She has been in charge, and she has had national security as one of her primary responsibilities," he said on ABC.

THE FACTS: While governors are in charge of their state guard units, that authority ends whenever those units are called to actual military service. When guard units are deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan, for example, they assume those duties under "federal status," which means they report to the Defense Department, not their governors. Alaska's national guard units have a total of about 4,200 personnel, among the smallest of state guard organizations.

FORMER ARKANSAS GOV. MIKE HUCKABEE: Palin "got more votes running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska than Joe Biden got running for president of the United States."

THE FACTS: A whopper. Palin got 616 votes in the 1996 mayor's election, and got 909 in her 1999 re-election race, for a total of 1,525. Biden dropped out of the race after the Iowa caucuses, but he still got 76,165 votes in 23 states and the District of Columbia where he was on the ballot during the 2008 presidential primaries.

FORMER MASSACHUSETTS GOV. MITT ROMNEY: "We need change, all right — change from a liberal Washington to a conservative Washington! We have a prescription for every American who wants change in Washington — throw out the big-government liberals, and elect John McCain and Sarah Palin."

THE FACTS: A Back-to-the-Future moment. George W. Bush, a conservative Republican, has been president for nearly eight years. And until last year, Republicans controlled Congress. Only since January 2007 have Democrats have been in charge of the House and Senate.

She's preparing to EAT THAT BABY.

Bye George (W.) - I think we've got it!

2008-09-04T12:48:00.000-07:00

Did you all notice my play on words - my own celebration that we only have a few more months with our current Commander in Chief? Do you think that's as marvelous as I do?

Definately smarter then our current leader (hence the newspaper)

Combined, these have a higher IQ then the President - alone, it's a toss up.

Baby Update!

2008-09-04T12:41:00.000-07:00

I went in for another doctor's appointment today.....it was relatively uneventful, other then I heard my baby's heartbeat for the first time - a strong 156 beats per minute!
I also had an ultrasound done for another reason, and during that ultrasound we were able to see the little wee one kicking me!!!! Sheesh. It already begins.
On September 29, we will find out the sex of our bebe - so I'll let you know as soon as we do whether it's going to be a little Vivianne Rose or Jacob James.

Sad Day in Skagit County

2008-09-03T11:57:00.000-07:00

When bad things happen like this, the instinct is to blame......
I think it's important to make sure our thoughts and prayers are with the families of the victims and the family of the gunman today.

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/377575_shooting04.html

9021-OH HOW FUCKING AWESOME!!!!

2008-09-03T11:09:00.000-07:00

OLD, but AWESOME

New, and pretty awesome, but ridiculously scandalous.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! 90210 (2008 style) debuted last night, and that shit was RAD, yo!
I watched it with Alicia (via Google IM), and I'll tell you what......in the original 90210 (best show of all time) it took like five seasons to get to the drugs! Remember when Kelly got hooked? That shit was RAD. The worst thing any of those 90210 West Beverly a-holes ever did was maybe get drunk (and Donna ALMOST didn't get to graduate) or hook up with trannies (Steve on spring break) - well last night set a whole new precident! The kids of WBHS are BAD! They're popping pills, stealing purses, getting drunked up, plagarizing shit, fighting - good god.
However, in sticking with the theme of ultimate corniness established in the original 90210, there were some VERY classically bad lines including:
"I'm breaking up with US" and
"We AIN'T in Kansas anymore!"
However, I am very happy to report fine lines, like this one:
"Maybe I could give you a ride home, and we can share stories about my husband's penis!"
Also, the grandmother on 90210 of the mixed race grandkids (Annie and Dixon - they aren't mixed race, other then one is white and one is black - how PC) is none other then Lucille Bluth of Arrested Development, quite possibly and honestly the best show ever. How exciting that was to discover she is now on the greatest/corniest show of all time!
So if you missed it, please watch next Tuesday and I'll try not to be too angry with you for not watching the first episode.
And I can't believe I almost forgot to mention that Brenda has returned!! Fuck Ya! Also, Kelly is back with a bastard child (speculation by me says it's Dylan McKay's) and hopefully (fingers crossed) Donna Martin will be back as well, except this drama errupted: Donna (Tori Spelling) was supposed to be on this show, but the show refused to pay her as much as Kelly and Brenda were getting so she said she's not coming back - which I have to agree with Tori/Donna, because not only did her dad (Aaron Spelling, the only man older then John McCain, and he's dead now) create Charlie's Angels and the Love Boat (!) but he is also the creator of the original 90210! They better hook a sista up! For shizzle!

Politics!

2008-09-02T11:57:00.000-07:00

Discussing politics in my extended household is dangerous! My sister and my father are die-hard Republicans, my mother and I are live and die Democrats. Normally, politics are left out of our family discussions, because someone's feelings are bound to be hurt and tempers flair - which in all reality, it's not even worth it, because Washington State is pretty blue and therefore my mom and my candidates win normally......burn. But my dad and my sister are part of the ten percent of people who respect (barf) our current president, and that's not even worth arguing, as I am pretty sure that if you replaced our current leader with a box of hair, the box of hair would do a better job. Anyhow, I digress.....long story short, politics are best left out of our family discussions.
My husband, however, is having a very hard time understanding this policy. I find myself changing the subject or trying to engage others in different topics of conversation - as he doesn't seem to understand that by just telling my father that John McCain has a horrid comb-over and even worse voting record (90% of his votes reinforced the president's stand) will not change his mind. I try to tell him that he can discuss politics with me all day and night, but not with the family, especially my sister who actually believes that choosing Sarah Palin as the vice presidental candidate was a good idea.
On that note......since I am not in my family home, I will say this - choosing Sarah Palin as the vice presidental candidate is such an obvious ploy that it makes me want to puke. Does McCain really believe that ovaries vote for ovaries? That by choosing a woman as his running mate, all the 'disinfranchised' Hillary voters will jump on board his sinking ship?
Sarah Palin is the anti-Hillary......and Sarah Palin is against women's fundamental values - she doesn't believe in teaching sex education (she believes, however in teaching abstinance, which worked out REAL WELL considering she has a teenage daughter who is pregos), she is pro-life to the extreme, not even believing in abortion in the cases of rape or incest, and is anti-gay rights....who even knows what her stance is on health reform, child care, gun control, fiscal management, education (probably not great, since said pregos teenage daughter dropped out of high school), social programs and foreign policy!?
All I can say is I can not wait for the vice presidental debates, where Joe Biden is going to EAT HER FOR LUNCH.
And the next time the John McCain mentions that Barack Obama is unqualified and lacks the experience to run a country, I hope someone manages to point out that the woman he picked to fill his shoes in an emergency has been governor of Alaska for less then two years.....

YIPES. I'll give you a shiny nickel if you correctly guess the number of liver spots on John McCain's arm. (Hint - it's a jillion.)

OH MY GOD - Willie Nelson

2008-08-29T13:32:00.000-07:00

So last night was the Willie Nelson concert - which was AWESOME!
Here's what I can tell you about it - Willie Nelson is a good ol' boy, honky tonkin', Texas lovin', cowboy hat wearing American storyteller!
And he doesn't believe in small talk - there was no "Hey Seattle! Good to be here!" foolishness. As Jason put it, Willie Nelson is all business.
It was amazing, I'm so glad we got to see him, it was a really fun concert and he played some of his most beautiful songs - like "You Are Always On My Mind", "Blue Eyes Cryin' In the Rain", and "Angel Flying Too Close to the Ground" (Jason's favorite).
He also did some new funny songs that he wrote while recovering from carpal tunnel surgery (too bad Willie and I are not close personal friends, as I would have discouraged him from such a surgery, as I think carpal tunnel is a pretend disease, but that is a discussion for another day). And, as if he READ MY MIND, he pulled out some old Hank Williams, which was AWESOME.
All in all, a wonderful concert, and I even bought a shirt for 40 damn dollars but I do love it so and will wear it every day.

Willie just letting you know what he thinks of you. Sorry about it.

Yes We Can

2008-08-29T12:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday marked a day of historic proportions - when the United States of America, for the first time in history, nominated an African American as a major party candidate for President of the United States.
Please keep in mind that in 1870, blacks were given the right to vote - but were often not allowed to vote until they paid fees, took tests, or had to jump through other hoops in order to prove themselves worthy of their rights. In 1964 (!) John F. Kennedy introduced and helped pass the Civil Rights Act, after vowing in his inaguaral speech of 1961 that he would end discrimination in this country.
So during this long 44 years we have seen the steady decline of practiced racism and segregation (not ignorance, not fear, unfortunately) and now a man who was born at a time when blacks couldn't vote in the south is now candidate for the highest position of power in America. What an amazing time we are living in!
But I hesitate to make this endorsement for Senator Obama strictly about race. Because the reality is that Senator Obama transends race - his visions for a better America are not bound by the lines of socio or cultural or racial boundries - he envisions a better America for ALL Americans - rich, poor, black, white, yellow, green (?), Southerners, Westerners, Easterners or Northerners.
Some have pontificated that Senator Obama speaks to hope and change - lofty, unmeasurable goals - but I ask you all this - are lofty, unmeasurable goals such a BAD thing? Considering that for the past eight long years we have been continually oppressed at every turn by our current government - that when high school graduates dream and HOPE to go to college, they are unable to afford those goals, that when hard working Americans dream of owning their own home, they are SWINDLED by mortgage companies looking to make a quick buck and foreclosing on homes they loaned speculative money for, when American workers have to HOPE that their job is not outsourced to a distant land oversees, that American soldiers have to HOPE that they are not sent to fight in an unjustified war for a second, third or fourth tour?
And I haven't even addressed the HOPE and CHANGE we need to make with our energy policies - our reliance on foreign oil is so damning, so oppressive that middle class citizens are having to make the decisions between purchasing groceries or keeping fuel in their cars in order to get to their jobs, while oil companies continue to reap the profits and benefits of exorbanant tax benefits.
Personally, I cannot fathom the idea of another four years of the same old political game, and I am rejuvinated by the idea of a leader with lofty goals and hopes for all Americans.
With the official nomination of Senator Obama last evening, I have never been so proud to be an American, a registered voter, and have never before felt this new desire to be a catalyst for change.
YES WE CAN.
Obama-Biden in 2008!!!!!

America's Got Wha?

2008-08-27T20:27:00.000-07:00

Oh my god. Just when I thought the Olympics were the grandest thing ever, my cherished "America's Got Talent" came back on the air! Thank God. And now is the time to vote.
I can't decide who I like yet - I'm watching the episode from last night as tonight's get taped.....so far, the first two acts licked my balls, but I am ready to see something amazing.
I think this show is so awesome, because where else can you find Brittney imitators, magicians, and relatively decent singers?
On a side note, as I'm watching last night's episode, the Britney Spears imitator started BAWLING as he told his life story....which was pretty much the fucking coolest thing ever.
Anyhow, please watch this show if you want to be part of the "cool kids club".

Smiling children do not automatically equate with talent, dipshits.

I saw these bitches routine - what a couple of talentless mother fuckers.

Selfish

2008-08-26T22:04:00.000-07:00

I'm having a rough day today - I'm petrified about having a baby.
I don't know if I'm ready to give up my figure, my shoes, my traveling capabilites, my independence.
Sorry this is so short - just feeling very selfish and unhappy today.

I have this. That is why I love shoes more then I love most people.

To Compliment or not to compliment....that is the question....

2008-08-25T12:20:00.000-07:00

A comprehensive list of things NOT to say to someone who is pregnant:
- Jeez! You're HUGE! Are you sure it's not twins (or triplets)?
- My mother/sister/friend had this HORRIBLE experience during pregnancy (baby got stuck in birth canal/baby had six heads/baby ate through the uterus/prego caught some horrid disease/doctor fucked up by doing ________)
- Enjoy it now, because your life is going to SUCK BALLS soon! Good luck sleeping!
- You're going to name your child WHAT?
- Wow, you really look like shit.
- You probably shouldn't give birth at X hospital. I've heard horrible things.
- You have Dr. Y? Yipes.
- You're not getting genetic testing done? What are you, some kind of MONSTER/ASSHOLE?
- Are you sure this is the right time for you?
- Is your other child okay with this?
- You're wearing WHAT size pants?

Things you should definately say:
- My god! You're CUTE pregnant!
- Wow! You look amazing!
- Childbirth is awesome! Lucky you!
- You're so fantastic!
- You're going to make an excellent parent!
- Eat whatever you want! Who gives a fuck!
- The world needs more of you - thanks for procreating!

Please print this list off and stick it in your pocket/wallet - laminate it if you feel like it.
The above list will save you from having a pregnant woman kick the everloving shit right out of you. You'll thank me.

I look just like this - a fine example of "cute" pregnant

Not attractive or necessary - yick. Please go take a mind shower now.

Thanks Alicia!

2008-08-25T12:05:00.000-07:00

I'm making this vow to you all - I am going to become a blogger. Try not to pee your pants with excitement. I know you all have been waiting for this day with bated breath, hoping beyond all hope that I would write something on a regular basis. So here you go.
The title of my blog is "Life, or Something Like It" because as most of you know, my life is anything but routine. But that's gravy. I like my life that way. Kind of like a roller coaster ride, filled with ups and downs and many times where I want to vomit.
I'm really hoping to use this blog as a venue to write about my pregnancy, which I thought would never happen, as well as my married life, my career, my relationships with family members......all in all, I hope I don't offend you or anyone else, but more likely then not I will.
And if you are wondering why this is titled "Thanks Alicia!" it is because Alicia, who is the coolest, started her own blog, and never to be left behind, I copied her. Also, today is her first day of school at Gonzaga Law, where she is starting her second year, and if any of my other a-hole friends accomplished something that cool, you would have a post with your name in it. But until then, too bad.
Alright kiddies - hope you enjoy the ride. And that I don't get sued.

MUCH LIKE MY WACKADO LIFE